"We [was] robbed by that whack job referee!"

Editor’s note: For my non-football-loving/appreciating audience, I’ve interspersed the following with some of my travelling tales and tidbits from the past few days. The hope is that there’s a little something for everyone here.

I had intended on writing this a couple of days ago, closer to when the lingering bitterness over the USA-Slovenia match was still festering, but internet access has been hard to come by these past couple of days in Poland. Thankfully, I’ve calmed down quite a bit since then, and am instead looking forward to today’s matches. We’re just a few short hours away from kickoff.

First, a quick look back at the past few days’ worth of matches:

USA v Slovenia

Minutes after kickoff, I texted this to my father:

“Not sure if you're watching the match, but there's something about this referee that makes me nervous. I don't trust him.”

(Not sure what it was, just a certain…something. Very similar to the ‘something’ I feel whenever Mike Riley is in charge.)

Minutes after the match finished, I received this text:

“We were robbed by that whack job referee.”

And fours later, this from my old man:

“Way to go Algeria!”

(without hanging my father out to dry too much, that ‘whack job’ insult is a special one he usually saves for the vilest of Democrats, which in his case means pretty much all of them.)

I’m not a big fan of whingeing about referees. Too many managers, players and fans use it as an excuse – Wenger and Benitez seem to be the guiltiest parties in England, and I prefer the Sam Allardyce approach: blame your own players. I used to love his comments on Match of the Day when he was managing Bolton, usually to the effect of “my players didn’t listen to me, I had a great plan! They never listen to me in fact!”

The worst complaints have to do with incorrectly awarded corners: “It shouldn’t even have been a corner!” For chrissakes, you still have the defend the damn thing, get over it. Complaining about a late penalty is justifiable, as are sendings-off. Maybe a late(ish) free kick from outside the box, but still, if defended properly, then it shouldn’t be a problem.

Anyway, three ‘errors’ from the referee last Friday:

1. Robbie Findlay was booked when a ball hit him in the face on a corner (presumably for a handball?). This rules him out against Algeria.
2. When Altidore was fouled on 70 minutes, he was brought down by the last defender. It may have been a soft foul, but all the same, by the letter of the law, that player has to be sent off. I haven’t been reading much about this World Cup, so I’m wondering whether anyone else has pointed this out.
3. And of course, the disallowed goal. I won’t go into this in any more detail, but in the interests of fairness, take a look at this, brought to my attention by Matt:

http://goal.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/19/in-defense-of-koman-coulibaly-sort-of/#more-23803

Judge for yourself. As for me, I’m officially done complaining about it, though that may change in a few hours if the US fail to get past Algeria. On paper…(okay, we’ve been down this road before.)

It was amusing that on the Russian telecast, with each replay, the announcers commented on how it looked like a wrestling match, with half-a-dozen Slovenians wrestling US players to the ground (I had a waitress help me a bit on the translation). And the Russians are certainly no friends of the US.

Another note: on their equalizer, Herculez Gomes played a huge part, taking the defender away with him to allow Bradley an easy, unchallenged attempt on goal. A very clever manueovre, I want to see more of this guy. It will be interesting to see who starts up front with Altidore in Findlay’s absence.

To come from 0-2 down and draw is usually a good result. So I’ll leave it at that. For now.

Lastly, predictable observation from my mother:

“The US players are the only patriotic ones in the world, they’re the only ones who put their hands on their hearts.”

Other reflections in brief:

England v Algeria

Just an insipid, uninspiring match. After 20 minutes, when Rooney seemed to make his first meaningful contribution, the Russian commentators had this to say: “Ah, good evening Wayne Rooney, welcome to the match.”

Later on, with a glum looking Will and Harry looking on, the commentators began speculating on where their girlfriends were and what they were doing. I don’t know why, but they seemed to think this hilarious judging from their chuckles and snorts, as did everyone else in the bar.

For me, England’s approach was encapsulated by a screen shot in the 60^th minute. There were 2 Algerians just outside England’s 18 yard box, surrounded by 7 England players. Algeria are a technically limited side going forward, to put it mildly, and I’m not sure this was the best employment of England’s resources, to put it mildly.

Serbia v Germany

I never thought I’d see the day when Germany would end a match with two forwards named Cacau and Gomez on the pitch. Neither of them showed much inspiration either, but I certainly thought the Klose sending off was harsh.

In the meantime, in the looks department, Sami Khedira is the poor man’s Milan Baros. That isn’t a good thing.

Sami Khedira

Milan Baros

Holland v Japan

Even though the Dutch have qualified for the knockout round, I’m not entirely impressed. Years ago, the Dutch used to never settle for anything but goals of the highest aesthetic quality. Here, they’ve scored 3 sloppy goals in their 2 matches (one an own goal, one another goalkeeping mistake, the other coming after a rebound off the post) and not done a great deal with their overwhelming possession. At one point, the possession statistic flashed on the screen, with Holland having 73%. I can’t recall having seen a more lopsided match recently.

Ghana v Australia

I missed this match, because some old, dear friends took me out for a lovely ‘surprise’ evening in Lviv, treating me to one lovely café/restaurant after another. I wasn’t at all disappointed to have missed it, because the alternative was so much nicer. Alright, I’ll refrain from any more schmaltziness.

Denmark v Cameroon

Another African team bites the dust: it’s been a poor World Cup for them, with only Ghana having a realistic – and decent – shot at getting through to the 2^nd round. Cameroon were definitely guilty of profligate finishing, something that has plagued them in times past.

Denmark must present one of the limpest counter-attacking threats I’ve ever seen. In fact, it’s quite impotent. To their credit, they’ve perfected the art of the ‘muted goal celebration’. In contrast to most other players, the Danes seem to exude a quiet professionalism to their work, when more over-the-top celebrations – they scored 2 cracking goals - would have been entirely justifiable.

Italy v New Zealand

I missed this match because I was having a Ukrainian Thai massage. Now, not to sound like an ignoramus or anything, and I’ve had my fair share of massages, but I had no idea that a Thai massage would be so bloody painful. I was nearing the end of my time in Lviv and my body was aching from a few weeks of travel – really, it’s a hard lifestyle I lead. I thought I would treat myself to a therapeutic massage, and with the money I saved from not buying an FC Karpaty Lviv top, I reckoned it was a better ‘investment’.

It reminds me of the time I had a similar massage in the Philippines many years ago. I was beaten to a bloody pulp, and I had no idea my body was capable of such twists and turns, and I had no idea how I was producing such sounds of angst and pain. I was in such pain, in fact, that I needed another massage the next day just to get rid of my soreness. I felt pretty much the same after this most recent foray into the netherworld of Thai massage. Actually, I was a bit [irrationally] angry afterwards, as I started nursing even more aches and pains than from before.

Lviv has many brand new cafes that have sprouted up over the past few years (details of which will be shared in a future post). One is the Masoch Café, named after Lviv legend Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, author of Venus in Furs and along with the Marquis de Sade, purveyor one of the more ‘robust’ forms of enjoyment that man can experience if he so desires. Anyway, at this café they allegedly flog and beat you, if you so wish it, and I had planned on visiting. After my massage, I felt like I’d already been beaten into submission enough, thank you very much, and so gave it a miss.

Upon leaving, this comment from the receptionist: “I have never heard such noise from customer before.”

Me neither, lady.

As far as the match is concerned, I only saw highlights but that looked like a rather soft penalty for New Zealand to concede. It’s not like big teams such as Italy need any more help from the referees. Australia is still aggrieved by that horrendous penalty decision against them 4 years ago. At that time, some of the Italian press suggested it might have been a make-up call from the 2002 quarterfinal, when Italy were denied a clear penalty in extra-time against South Korea, with Totti ridiculously being sent off for receiving a 2^nd yellow after his ‘dive’, a clear case of reputations preceding you.

As for this one, New Zealand got somewhat of a raw deal, maybe? I shouldn’t comment since I missed the rest of it. Mr Roeder made a nice comment after watching this match, and I hope he doesn’t mind me quoting him here:

“Just like in warfare and politics the little countries have learned you don't have to defeat your larger opponents. Guerrilla tactics, defense, keep them frustrated and off balance and you may not lose. And if you don't lose, you win. Look how long Iran has been stringing out the world with its nuclear situation.”

Nicely put.

Slovakia v Paraguay

Another accomplished performance from a South American side - many of my friends have commented on the Old v New World split, and the rise of South America – perhaps a subject for a later date. But I think we’ve all been impressed by most of the Western Hemisphere squads, and they could be dominating the latter stages.

Watching this match, it was amazing to think that Slovakia won their qualifying group ahead of the Czechs, Poland, Slovenia, and, uh, Northern Ireland. Versus Paraguay, in a match they had to win, they sat deep, provided little threat going forward, had awful link-up play with no one seemingly capable of holding the ball up.

Paraguay pressed and passed well, showed more flair, and easily deserved to win it.

The funniest moment came from the Ukrainian commentator (again, I had a lot of ‘help’ with this translation):

“This isn’t a very exciting match to watch. Not exciting at all. But I shouldn’t say too much, because we [Ukraine] aren’t very exciting either. Actually, we are less exciting than this.”

Makes me glad that they can be so self-deprecating.

Brazil v Ivory Coast

I’d been looking forward to this match for days. And I bloody well missed it!

Though I’m not complaining.

It was my final night in Lviv, and in yet another sign of how this city is so magical and holds such a dear grip on my heart, it became an incident-packed, unpredictably enjoyable evening. Minutes before kick off, I got talking to some locals, lots of beer and vodka were imbibed, and I had a grand old time, meeting some terrific new friends in the process. Despite the TV just above my head, I didn’t even notice when the goals were scored, though I did manage to catch that egregious decision to send poor Kaka off after yet more atrocious play-acting. Shocking and shameful – and I’m not just talking about my behaviour on the evening.

I always wonder about these players who fake blows to the head in hopes of getting opponents sent off. Remember Rivaldo against Turkey in 2002? A defender angrily kicked the ball at him, it him on the thigh, and he went down clutching his face. Don’t these guys know that they’ll be exposed as frauds? The cameras are always watching, nothing gets missed these days.

The highlight of my night – though hard to choose just one - might have been this exchange with a lovely young woman named Nataliya.

DP: ‘If I weren’t leaving tomorrow, I would definitely ask you out.’

N: ‘If you weren’t leaving tomorrow, I would definitely say yes.’

At that point, I couldn’t have cared less about the match. But it was disappointing all the same to see Ivory Coast all but get eliminated.

Portugal v North Korea

I missed the match because I was way too hungover from the epic night before. And because I was travelling from Ukraine to Poland. I endured a terribly uncomfortable hot, cramped and smelly marshrutka (minibus) ride to the border, where the overpowering stench almost made me retch, and then had to suffer through an interminably long wait standing in a queue at the border, where I got jostled, pushed and shoved by irate pensioners trying to get their smuggled wares across the border in hopes of drumming up a bit of business. Now I know how cattle feel.

By the time I got into the centre of Przemysl, the match had finished.

Chile v Switzerland

Chile excellent, blah blah blah, Switzerland crap, blah blah blah…the usual South America is better than Europe affair.

Seriously though: Chile were very impressive, and Switzerland aren’t the easiest team to break down when they’re playing with 10 men, a very resilient side. Chile are great at finding space and creating passing lanes, and there were some excellent crosses. Spain will have their hands full against them this week.

And so much for Swiss honesty: more play-acting cost a Chilean a yellow card.

France v South Africa

Didn’t bother watching. France stink, they make me sick, I’m sorry I picked them, I’m ashamed, embarrassed, etc, etc. Honestly…what was I thinking? Seemed like a good pick at the time.

Anyway…

A preview of upcoming matches

Slovenia v England

USA v Algeria

I have to go back to that comment my father made after England were held to a draw:

“Way to go Algeria!”

When it comes to conflicting loyalties and football…well, I’m pretty torn. It’s bit like the ‘Norman Tebbit test’ (former Conservative MP in the 1970s), when in the midst of debates over the emigration of Caribbeans to Britain, over the question of loyalty and identity, it came down to which cricket team you supported: the West Indies or England. I’ve often felt like that with football, never sure which team to support on the international stage. One thing is clear: first and foremost is Northern Ireland. That’s the easy part. The next two get trickier, and over the years I’ve wavered between England and the US. When the draw was made months back, I immediately felt conflicted and wasn’t sure who I was going to support. I figured that closer to the time I would make my ‘decision’, but in all truthfulness, I had little dilemma in leaning towards the US. This is a topic I could bore everyone, myself included, into submission, so let me stop there. I’m all behind the US…for now.

After the USA’s match against Slovenia, I was eagerly backing Algeria to frustrate the English, which of course they did. Now here’s hoping that Bradley has worked out how to break down the Algerian defence, not an easy thing to do. Egypt, the three-times reigning African champions, struggled to do it in three matches (2 group matches plus the playoff in Sudan), and they were ultimately denied qualification. (It has to be said that Egypt present a far more potent attacking threat and can be pleasing to watch at times.)

As for England today, Slovenia are equally a tough team to get past: very tidy and well-organised. They navigated their way out of that same qualifying group as Slovakia (ahead of Poland the Czech Republic), and narrowly squeaked past Russia over the two legs of their playoff. In the first match, in Russia, they fell behind 2-0, but stuck around, persisting until sneaking an invaluable away goal in the dying stages. In the second leg in Ljubljana, after going ahead 1-0, they proved stubborn, frustrating Russia, who never really came close to scoring the goal they needed.

I refuse to make any predictions, although I did predict before that Slovenia would advance. Ideally, I want to be proven wrong yet again, and my head and heart are firmly behind England and the US, let me clear about that. But given a choice between the two, I’m still U-S-A all the way.

Sorry.

As for other matches today, tomorrow and Friday

Ghana v Germany: Ghana only need a draw to advance, which in and of itself makes me nervous. Surely, (surely!) at least one African team has to progress? I can’t see Serbia struggling to get past Australia.

Denmark v Japan: thank goodness Denmark need to win to progress: the game should be all the more pleasing to watch than if they only needed a draw. This makes it all the more watchable.

Italy v Slovakia: amazing that Italy could fail to get out of this group. And that New Zealand could.

Ivory Coast v North Korea: the Ivorians have a mountain to climb and in all likelihood, they’re already done for.

Closing thoughts

The most frustrating part of the 3^rd and final matches of each group are the simultaneous kickoffs. When it’s out of your hands and you’re watching in a public place, unable to switch back and forth between matches, you feel utterly helpless, like things are completely out of your control. No doubt today I’ll be feeling all sorts of turmoil as I watch England plough away against Slovenia, all the while wondering how the US is faring. Maybe there’s something exciting about this in a way.

And that’s that for now.